Faster
by KidneyinaJar
Summary: It takes place about two years after their post-it marriage. It will consist of their life from then on. It will be full of drama, love, sadness, hope, despair, and sexiness. This fanfiction will alternate between both Meredith and Derek's point of view.
1. Chapter 1 Faster

**Faster- Chapter One **

**Author's Note: This fanfiction consists of two minds working together. This is our first fanfiction. "Faster" is a MerDer (Meredith Grey and Derek Shepherd) fic. It takes place about two years after their post-it marriage. It will consist of their life from then on. It will be full of drama, love, sadness, hope, despair, and sexiness. This fanfiction will alternate between both Meredith and Derek's point of view.**

**Again- this is our very first fanfiction. Consider yourself warned, and hold your tongue! Keep bad comments to a minimum.  
><strong>

**Try and enjoy!**

_You're so delicious  
>you're so soft<br>sweet on the tip of my tongue  
>you taste like sunlight<br>and strawberry bubble gum_

_Meredith's POV:  
><em>

Derek always looked sexy in the morning. His luscious hair was messy in a cute way. His bed head, combined with his fresh morning stubble made for a morning turn on.

_Beep beep beep! _Our alarm clock began to screech at us.

He turned over in his sleep, moaning quietly. I wondered what he was dreaming about.

That is, until he screamed out my name.

"Meeeeeredithhh!" he yelled with a very sleepy tone. "Turn off the alarm clock!"

I smacked the snooze button. He was a morning person, but he hated getting out of bed.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," I crooned to him. His eyes opened up and met mine. "Did you sleep well?"

"No. I didn't get _enough_ sleep, as a matter of fact," he said with a smirk. "You need to start letting me go to bed earlier!" He snickered.

"It's not my fault," I laughed. "You were the one begging for more!"

That shut him up. He sat up in bed, rubbing his tired eyes.

"Why are you even up before me, anyway?" he questioned me. "_I'm_ always the one who wakes you up, not the other way around."

This was true, I was terrible in the mornings. How Derek dealt with me every single morning is a mystery.

"I had a bad dream," I sighed.

Truth was, I didn't want to tell him about the dream that I had. He wouldn't be too happy to hear about it, honestly. I didn't want to worry him.

Derek frowned slightly. "Are you okay?" he asked softly. "Want to talk about it?"

"Uh… not particularly," I replied dryly.

"Why not," he asked, his forehead creased with worry. "How bad was it?"

I didn't feel like answering him.

Avoiding his gaze, I responded, "It's really not that big of a deal. I'm sorry I brought it up."

His frown deepened. "Meredith…" he started.

"Stop," I cut him off. "It was nothing, really."

He sighed. "Whatever you say, Mer." He stretched, yawning. "We have to get out of bed or we're going to be late for work."

Work, I loved working at Seattle Grace Hospital, but I would much rather stay in bed with Derek all day.

"Fine," I agreed halfheartedly. I swung my legs over the side of the bed, slipping my feet into a pair of slippers.

Our room was a mess. Clothes were all over the place from being carelessly ripped off our bodies and thrown to the ground. There were coffee cups on the nightstand, and random crap in corners of the room. I definitely needed to clean it.

Derek was already stripping off his pajama pants. "You're going to join me in the shower, aren't you?" he asked with a warm grin.

I didn't even need to think about the answer to that question. We always shower together.

"Of course," I replied, unbuttoning my pajama top and tossing it to the floor. "I'll be right there."

**A/N: Thank you so much for reading! Please leave a review, it would mean a lot! **


	2. Chapter 2 A Bad Dream

**A/N: Thank you for your reviews and comments! As promised, this chapter will be longer. It will include both Meredith and Derek's POV. Enjoy!**

_I wake up, it's a bad dream,  
>No one on my side,<br>I was fighting  
>But I just feel too tired<br>to be fighting,  
>guess I'm not the fighting kind.<br>Wouldn't mind it  
>if you were by my side<br>But you're long gone,  
>yeah you're long gone now.<em>

_Derek's POV  
><em> 

I could tell that something was wrong with Meredith. In the shower that morning, her kisses were less passionate and she seemed worried about something. I can _always_ tell when something is wrong with Meredith. I have known her long enough to be able to recognize the signs.

Something was definitely bothering her. She was closed off, and she didn't hesitate to ignore me throughout the work day. Usually we would get together and have lunch, or go into the on call room for a quickie, but none of that happened today.

I decided to confront her.

I paged her to the on call room. I wanted her to think that I needed a fix, and then I would ask her what is wrong. My plan was that she would be caught so off guard that she would answer me directly.

I waited about 30 seconds for Meredith to come to where I was waiting. She burst through the door, already untying the drawstring on her scrub pants. Now this was the Meredith I was used to!

My plan, now in action, was going in the direction I desired. I quickly threw my lab coat to the floor and wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling her towards me. She giggled, practically ripping my shirt off and tossing it to the ground. I took her shirt off as she worked on removing my scrub pants. We were so used to doing this, that we could get all of our clothes off in a matter of seconds. Now _that's_ experience!

She pulled my pants off in one swift movement, letting them drop to the floor. I stumbled out of them and pressed her against the wall.

"Hey there," I whispered in her ear. "It's been far too long since I've traveled your country."

It was incredibly cheesy, I know. And a little bit creepy. But I wanted to make her laugh.

She didn't laugh. Instead, she gave me a weird expression, her eyebrows raised.

"What….?" she questioned me.

"I just want to explore your caverns," I chuckled.

_That_ made her laugh.

"Papa Bear wants some honey," I said, tickling her sides. She started giggling like a maniac, trying desperately to get away from my tickles.

"Stop that!" she laughed, slapping my hands away.

Now was the time when I made my move. I leaned into her, giving her a big kiss.

I expected her to kiss me back, as she always does. But instead, she stiffened and pushed me away.

"Can we get things moving?" I inquired. "I'm pretty horny."

"Um, well…" she stuttered, not meeting my gaze. "I'm kind of not in the mood."

"Why not?" I gasped, even though I fully knew the answer already. This was because of the dream she had this morning, I guarantee it.

"I just don't!" she snapped, frowning. "Can't you take no for an answer?"

I sighed. "This is about your dream, isn't it?"

'What dream?" she asked me, though of course she knew what I was talking about.

"Your dream!" I raised my voice, exasperated. "The one you refuse to tell me about!"

"Oh. That dream." She looked me in the eye. "I already told you, it's nothing. So leave me alone about it."

"But Mer-" I was starting to beg. I needed to know what was wrong with her, so I could help her best I could.

"No. Now don't bring it up again." She glared at me before quickly putting all of her clothes back on and storming out of the on call room, slamming the door behind her.

I stood there for a while after she left, contemplating what just happened. She obviously was in a dark and twisty mood right now, and to be honest it kind of scared me. She has been getting so much better at being bright and shiny, and she usually always told me when something was bothering her.

This dream must have been pretty damn bad.

_Where do we go?  
>I don't even know,<br>My strange old face,  
>And I'm thinking about those days,<br>And I'm thinking about those days._

_Meredith's POV  
><em> 

Derek could really annoy the hell out of me sometimes. I knew as soon as he called me into the on call room that it wasn't sex he wanted.

Well, it was, because he always wanted sex. But more than that, he wanted answers.

I went through the rest of the day in a blind rage. I was so confused. I wanted to tell him, but I didn't know how.

The dream I had had really was awful. I didn't want him to know about it. It scared _me_, even, and I rarely get scared about things.

How was I going to tell him? I had ordered him not to bring it up, but I knew Derek, and I knew very well that he would ask about it as soon as we got home.

The day came toward an end, and I still hadn't figured out how to tell him. This was going to be a problem.

I decided to talk to Cristina about it.

I found her, eating nasty hospital chips by the vending machine.

"Hey," I said. I sounded completely depleted. She would know right away that something was up.

"What's your problem?" she asked. "You sound like your favorite puppy just got ran over."

Classic Cristina. Now all I could think about was a poor puppy getting squished by a car. How about no.

"Uh, no. It's something much worse than that, actually," I told her.

Cristina's face brightened up as soon as I said that.

"Ooooh! Do tell," she said, grinning. How was it that she always took pleasure in other people's pain? It was oddly frightening.

"I had a bad dream last night," I told her, frowning. "And I don't know how I'm going to explain it to Derek. He won't be able to understand at all."

"Well, what was the dream about?" she questioned. "Why can't you just tell him?"

"Because," I tried to explain, "it is too horrible to tell anyone about. I just don't want to hurt him."

"He'll be fine," she reassured me. "He is strong. He can take it. Just tell him as soon as you see him. It will be like ripping off a band-aid off a fat hairy man's chest."

Was that really necessary? No, but that's Cristina for you.

"Well… I guess you're right, sort of," I stated. "Thanks."

I started to leave, when I heard her call out my name.

"Mer!" she yelled. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

I looked at her, confused. "No?"

"You forgot to tell me your dream!"

Oh. She wanted to know. Well, I guess if anyone was going to hear it for the first time, it should be her.

"Come here," I sighed. I grabbed her arm, tugging her nearer to me.

Then, I whispered the whole dream into her ear.

As I was telling my dream, she gasped and dropped her chips. They crashed to the floor.

"Oh my god, Meredith," she gasped. "He needs to know. _Now_."

_I wake up, it's a bad dream,  
>No one on my side,<br>I was fighting  
>But I just feel too tired<br>to be fighting,  
>guess I'm not the fighting kind.<br>Wouldn't mind it  
>if you were by my side<br>But you're long gone,  
>yeah you're long gone now.<em>

**A/N: So, what do you think? We left it at a cliffhanger this time! Don't go too crazy with worry! Haha. Our lyrics in the fic came from the song "A Bad Dream" by Keane. **


	3. Chapter 3 The Dream

**A/N Again, thanks for your reviews and support, it means a lot! This chapter will be exclusively about Meredith's nightmare. Happy reading!**

_I was running through the hallways of the hospital, my scrubs splattered with blood. Fresh blood. And it wasn't mine. _

_The blood of more than one person. _

_The blood of my victims. _

_I was trying to find someone that I knew well- my husband. I needed to see him immediately, to make sure he was okay._

_We had killed so many people. So many innocent people. _

_Yet I hadn't killed the one person that would bring the most satisfaction to me. _

_I tucked my gun into my pocket, running frantically. Where was he? I needed to find him and kill him before it was too late. _

"_Meredith!" I heard a gruff voice yell my name. It was my husband. "How many people have you killed?"_

"_15," I replied. "Have I done well?"_

"_Very," he grinned. "Have you killed our main target yet?"_

"_I'm on my way to find him right now," I said. _

"_There's no need to look," he told me. "I have him already. Follow me." _

_He kissed me passionately. This killing spree was going so well! _

"_I really love you," he proclaimed. "You're the best wife I could ever ask for."_

"_I love you too, honey," I replied. "I will give you so much sex when we get home." _

_He laughed a chilling laugh, wiping his bloody hands on his pants. _

_I was so glad that I had married such a great man. He was older than me, and I was sometimes judged for it, but it didn't matter. Our love could conquer anything. _

_I followed him through the hospital. It was eerily quiet, compared to the normal bustling activity that was always happening. _

_Into an exam room we went. There, tied to the bed, was our victim. _

_He was struggling greatly. His hands were clasped behind his back, and he couldn't move at all. I have to admit that it hurt a little to see such a powerful man brought into such a weakened state. _

"_Meredith," he addressed me. His eyes glistened with tears. "Why are you doing this to me?" _

_I didn't answer him. Instead, I went over and smacked him in the face. _

"_You know exactly why I'm doing this!" I hissed. _

_Both he and I knew, but my husband didn't. _

"_It is my duty to kill you. It needs to be done," I told him. _

_My husband walked over, nodding. _

"_This is her job. Not mine. But I don't want to leave without having any fun," he smirked._

_With just enough time to jump out of his way, the beating began. _

_Within minutes, blood was staining the white sheets, as well as my husband's scrubs. He was laughing maniacally. _

_I stood there, watching. It felt so good to see this man being beat up. His pain brought me incredible pleasure. Seeing his face, contorted with agony, sent chills up my spine. This was what I lived for. _

"_You little bastard!" my husband yelled. "There is no reason for your existence on this planet any longer!"_

_I laughed at this comment, because of how true it was. _

"_It may hurt now, but in a few minutes, you won't feel a thing. Not when my wife is done with you." _

_Our prisoner was now crying, tears streaking his bloody face. He was practically begging for my husband to spare his life, to stop hurting him so badly. _

_Finally, my husband stopped beating him. With one final shove, he left the man lying in the bed, bleeding profusely and half dead. _

"_That's all you're gonna get from me," my husband said. "Now comes the bad part." _

_He gave my waist a quick, comforting squeeze before leaving the room. "You can do this," he said._

_If only I believed him as much as he believed in me. _

_He left the room, leaving me all alone with our captive. _

"_Meredith," he cried out in a confused and pained voice. I could tell that even talking was a great struggle for him. "You are better than this. I know you. I know you better than that monster ever has."_

"_Derek!" I yelled. "You need to get it through your head. I'm not the girl from the bar anymore! I'm different! I have a husband! You need to let go of your little delusional fantasy that you're going to get me back!" _

_Yep, Derek Shepherd is our victim. Top Seattle neurosurgeon, the classiest bastard I'll ever have the pleasure of killing._

"_Mer," he tried again, using the nickname that only he called me. "Please. Don't do this."_

_Derek and I had quite a history together. We met at a bar a long time ago, back when I was an intern. I hadn't known my husband yet, and we hadn't started killing for a living. _

_As soon as I saw Derek, I was captivated by him. What a foolish mistake. I was with him for a few years before I decided that he wasn't right for me. In no time at all, I found a new guy. Within a year, we were married. _

_However, Derek has never really gotten over this. He holds a grudge against me and my husband, believing that he himself is better than my husband will ever be. _

_He has never stopped loving me._

_Yet I barely even think about him anymore. In fact, I hadn't said a word to him since the night that everything went wrong, which was not very long ago. I had almost completely forgotten about him until my husband brought up that he wanted us to kill him._

_Why kill Derek Shepherd, you may ask? Just ask my husband, he'll tell you in a heartbeat. _

_A little while ago, when my husband and I were fighting, I went back to the bar. And low and behold, there was Derek. _

_Needless to say, we reunited. Reconnected. Whatever you want to call it. _

_My husband found out that I had a one night stand with a man I used to be with. He was not happy. It was then that he decided that he wanted to kill Derek._

_And he was going to make me do it. _

_I moved closer over to Derek, who was on the bed, not moving. _

"_Derek, I wish I could say that I'm sorry, but I'm not. You deserve this!" I needed him to understand. _

"_He's brainwashed you! Gary Clark has freaking brainwashed you, Meredith!" _

_Gary Clark is my faithful husband, who has stayed with me even though I briefly cheated of him with the son of a bitch laying in front of me. _

"_Meredith, listen to me! You can't do this! You need me, and I need you!" He was begging, tears running down his face._

_That really pissed me off._

"_Shut up, you dumb piece of shit!" I screamed. I went closer to his bed and dug my nails into his arm. He cried out in pain._

_I had very long nails, as a matter of fact. Pinching was something I was very good at. _

"_Ouch, Mer, stop…" he cried. "It hurts…." _

_As soon as he said that, I dug my nails deeper into his skin, and ran them down the entire length of his arm. Blood immediately started trickling down his arm. _

"_I told you to shut up! Can't you ever listen to anything I say?" I shouted in his face. "You are worthless. Nobody cares about you, especially not me! I want you dead, and I am going to make sure that happens. I __**will**__ kill you." _

"_Stop saying those things!" he said while struggling to move away from me. "I still love you."_

_I pulled my gun out and held it close to his face. He visibly retorted, cringing. _

"_It's the truth! And you love me. You need me. You need me, and so does our baby!" he shouted. _

_I gasped, clutching the gun. How did he know?_

"_How… what…" I stared at him, my mouth wide open. Everyone was supposed to think that it was Gary's baby! How did Derek know it was his?_

"_I've known all along, Meredith. You're trying to hide it, but you won't get away with it!" _

_I brought the gun closer to his face. _

"_I'll shoot you, Derek! I will shoot you right now and not give you any time to even think! Do you want that?" I screamed at him, getting right in his face. _

"_No, that's not what I want, Mer. What I want is you." _

_He struggled to lift himself up off the bed a little bit, just enough so that he was level with my face. _

_Then, he tried to kiss me. _

"_What are you doing?" I had a quick reaction and immediately swung the gun, hitting him right in the head. _

_He dropped back down, whimpering. _

_I hit him repeatedly with the gun. Over and over I slammed the butt of the gun against his face. I wanted to make him hurt. _

_I wanted to kill him._

"_You are done with," I seethed. I left him laying there as I went back toward the door, ready to retrieve Gary. _

"_Gary…. he doesn't know, does he?" Derek mumbled. He could barely talk; he was so beaten and weak._

"_Know what?" _

_I froze in my tracks and turned around slowly. _

_There, in the doorway, was Gary Clark. He had heard Derek. _

"_Nothing," I said quickly. "I was just getting ready to kill him." _

"_Meredith is lying to you!" Derek forced out. He was crying again, barely able to make out the words he was trying to say. _

_I felt the anger rise up in me. How dare he?_

_I walked over to him, cocked my gun, and with one final look into his eyes, I shot him in the chest. _

_The color drained quickly from his face. His once red and rosy cheeks were now pale white. The light drained from his deep blue eyes. _

_Yet, he kept a steady gaze into my eyes. He was still trying to live. _

_Gary walked over to us. _

"_Ah, finally that's done! What was it that he was trying to say?" Gary asked me._

"_The b-baby," Derek feebly whispered. "It's not yours. It's mine." _

_And with that said, he let out his final breath, the life draining out of him._

_Gary turned to me. "Is this true?"_

"_Yes." I said. "The baby is Derek's."_

_The last thing I saw was the gun pointed in my direction._

_The last thing I heard was the shot of the gun going off, and the sound ringing in my ears. _

_The last thing I thought was that it didn't matter if I was dead, because with Derek gone, I felt dead anyway. _


	4. Chapter 4 Pour Me

**A/N This chapter might not be as exciting as the last, but bear with us! Thanks for all your reading and comments! **

_Derek's POV _

_Pour me, pour me, pour me another,  
>It holds me, holds me,<br>Like no other,  
>One more drink, then I swear that I'm going home,<br>Truth is, I don't really have a place to go,  
>So pour me, pour me, pour me another.<br>_

She told me about the dream.

I was a mixture of anger and confusion.

What did the dream mean? Why hadn't she told me sooner?

The dream had to mean something. Big dreams like that have to have a reason for appearing.

Right?

The initial shock of what she told me had worn off, but I was still burning with unanswered questions.

So here I was, sitting alone in the on call room.

I hadn't gone home with Meredith that night. I wanted some time alone, to think.

I had paged Mark Sloan to the on call room over 20 minutes ago, wanting to talk to him. Where was he?

Suddenly I heard a knock on the door.

"Derek? You in there buddy?"

Mark had arrived.

"Yeah…. come on in," I told him. I heard him chuckle.

"Actually, I just got done doing that. Little Grey sure knows how to make a man feel like a top dog."

"Um, okay," I cringed. I didn't really want to hear the details of his sex life.

"So, what do you need me for? Are you looking for sex, too?" he laughed, walking into the room.

I definitely wasn't in the mood for his perverted banter.

"No, Mark," I said sharply. "I need to talk to you,"

"What did she do to you this time? Did she hurt your pride in the bedroom?"

He was talking about Meredith, of course.

"No, Mark!" I was getting increasingly frustrated. "It's something bad ."

His expression softened. "What happened?" he asked me.

"Meredith had this really weird dream. And to be honest, it kind of scared me. I could tell she was really freaked out by it, too. I mean, it was a nightmare."

"Oh," he frowned. "Well, would you mind telling me about it?"

"Are you sure you want to know? I mean, it's pretty bad…." I was hesitant to tell him.

"Of course I do," he said. "Go ahead and tell me."

And so I did. As I told him, I watched his expression change from that of being interested to being horrified.

"Dear God," he proclaimed. "Your wife had that dream? What is with her and darkness? I swear, she is the most twisted person I have ever met."

I frowned. "Don't say that about her, Mark. She couldn't help that she had a bad dream. I called you in here to help, not to criticize."

He sighed. "Well, have you talked to her about it? That's what you should be doing. She was the one who had the dream, not me. Only she can know if it really means something or not."

I guess he was right. But still… I needed his input.

"Mark," I stated. "Tell me the truth. Do you think the dream means something, or is it just a dream?"

Mark didn't answer. Instead, he patted me sympathetically on my back.

"I don't know, Derek. But what I do know is, you could use a night being acquainted with a scotch or two."

He turned to leave. But before he left the room, he turned to me and said one more thing.

"She sure is a lot of baggage, Derek. You need to think about that."

And with that being said, he left.

_~ ~~Later, at the bar ~~~ _

_Time just seems to go on and on,  
>On and on,<br>And on and on,  
>Life inside a bottle all alone,<br>All alone,  
>The bottles gone,<br>_

I won't say how many drinks I had, but I will tell you that my vision was slightly blurred and I was slurring my speech when asking for another drink. I almost fell off the barstool at one point.

I was drinking away my pain. Not the best thing to do, but hey, it's all I could think of at the moment.

At one point in the night I was sitting there, choking down another scotch, when a familiar figure walked through the door.

It looked like Meredith.

_Pour me, pour me, pour me another,  
>It holds me, holds me,<br>Like no other,  
>One more drink, then I swear that I'm going home,<br>Truth is, I don't really have a place to go,  
>So pour me, pour me, pour me another.<br>_

_Pour me, pour me, pour me, pour me,  
>Pour me another,<br>Pour me, pour me, pour me, pour me,  
>Pour me another.<em>

**A/N: Thanks for reading!  
>Song Credit: Pour Me by Hollywood Undead.<br>Keep the comments coming!**


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